SummerSlam ’92 Recap

WWE finally goes over the ocean to Wembly Stadium for the 1992 SummerSlam.  This is an outdoor event, which I have always found slightly unnerving.  Wrestling should be held in darkened stadiums, surrounded by drunken idiots.  These are our people.

Attendance for this one was just over 80 thousand, making it (at least) the third largest event in WWE history.

1. Money Inc. (Ted Dibiase and IRS) vs. The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal)

This is a very standard LOD match. Tons of power moves, not a lot of technique. Money Inc. mostly go after Hawk (or Animal, I don’t know) with some dull, choke-hold based offense.

Stare at this picture for 8 solid minutes and you get the idea

Pretty straightforward end to the match, the LOD throw Dibiase into IRS and then Animal (or Hawk, I don’t know) hits a powerslam and gets the pin

Overall: It’s a fine, standard start to the event

2. Virgil vs. Nailz

Nailz didn’t have much of a run in the WWE.  He was in this PPV and then the ’92 Survivor Series, but shortly after was fired after attacking Vince McMahon over a financial dispute.

I bet he even had a whole backstory for the gibberish written on the back of his jumpsuit

This match is a pretty solid work by Virgil, but Nailz demolishes him pretty quickly and wins with a sleeper hold.

Overall: Meh

3. Shawn Michaels with Sherri Martel vs. Rick Martel

This match has a “no punching in the face” rule because Sherri Martel liked both guys and both of them had a crush on her.  They probably passed her notes in gym class?

This match is about 10x more entertaining than it has any right to be with such a stupid concept behind it.  Both guys bring their A-game with a ton of fast moves and great playing to the audience.  Great job guys!

No problem, WWE Replay!

The match ends with both guys about to hit each other in the face, when Sherri faints. Both guys go to check on her and Martel gives her CPR – a technique that has never ever been recommended for a simple case of the vapors.  Both men are counted out and Sherri is left by herself.

Overall: A fun match that brought up the pace of the event

4. Tag Team Championship Match: Beverly Brothers (Bo and Blake) vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Tugboat)

Hoo boy.  I do not care for the Natural Disasters and I don’t really remember the Beverly Brothers.  I’m looking forward to this the same way Daniel Day Lewis looks forward to movies where he doesn’t get a chance to wear goddamn massive, ridiculous hats

Daniel Day Lewis Hats
Seriously, I think he gets paid by the hat-inch

The Beverly Brothers do an okay job keeping this match interesting, but they’re not working with much.  They go on a monotonously long offensive run against Tugboat and when the ref is distracted, they hit him with a foreign object.

As they go for the pin, Earthquake interferes and comes in to demolish everyone.  After some various fat-based attacks, they get the pin on Blake or Bo (can’t tell which is which) and they keep the belts

Overall: Given I didn’t at all expect to enjoy this and it wasn’t entirely awful, I’m pretty happy with it

5. Repo Man vs. Crush

This is sort of interesting because here’s Repo and Crush now:

I don’t get why Repo Man has a hook

Here’s Repo and Crush 5 years earlier

demolition crush
We were demolition, remember?

They were demolition, remember?

The match itself is fine.  It’s a perfectly serviceable match.  Crush wins by smooshing Repo Man’s head.

Overall: I’m going on record as saying Repo Man is one of the dumbest ideas WWE has had

6. Heavyweight Championship Match: Macho Man vs. Ultimate Warrior

Heading into this match, Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man had some relationship problems.  Through a series of incredibly unlikely series of events, (all of which included unconscious referees) neither Macho Man or Ultimate Warrior trusted each other and thought the other one hired Mr. Perfect to be in their corner.

“Just exactly how many times were you knocked unconscious last month?  If the answer is more than ‘none’ that’s too many times

Gang, will this match be as good as Macho / Warrior from Wrestlemania VII?  It’s essentially the same thing except the crowd is actively booing Macho Man.

One difference is the pace, it’s a very aggressive, fast paced match.  Not a single arm bar or chin lock.  Just non stop body slams and big impact moves.  Within 10 minutes both guys seem exhausted.

As the match continues, Macho seems to have injured his back and Warrior seems to have hurt his neck.  Both guys are at the end of their energy when Mr. Perfect finally comes out and everyone is wondering which guy hired him.

Macho goes to the ropes and Mr. Perfect trips him.  So now everyone thinks Perfect is in Warriors corner.  Macho man is understandably upset

And feels the middle of his important wrestling match is the right time to have this discussion

During the action, the ref gets knocked out and when Warrior goes for the pin, the ref doesn’t see it.  When the ref comes back to, he gets knocked out again by Savage.

I feel like I’m not being clear.  Losing consciousness for even like 2 goddamn seconds is cause for huge concern

As Savage is trying to revive the official, Mr. Perfect attacks the Warrior.  So I guess Mr. Perfect is in nobody’s corner.

Nobody puts Perfect in a corner

The match ends when Ric Flair hits Warrior with a chair.  Savage ends up going after Flair and then Perfect and Flair beat him up for awhile and Macho Man is counted out of the ring.  Warrior them chases off and then celebrates with Macho Man

Overall: That match was way better than the Wrestlemania one.  Nice job everyone!

7. Kamala vs. The Undertaker

Shit!  Yes!

Fuck!  Yes!
Goddamn Awesome!

Overall: Whew!

8. Intercontinental Championship Match:  Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Man, Bret Hart sure is on a crazy run of “best of the decade” matches, isn’t he?  In the past year (of 1991 – 1992) he’s had the crazy good match against Mr. Perfect at the last Summerslam, followed by the crazy good match against Rowdy Piper at Wrestlemania VIII and now this one.

Yeah, I’m awesome.  What of it?

The rumor is that Davey Boy was either high or on no sleep for this match.  From Wikipedia:

“Bret Hart later revealed in an interview that he doubted the legitimacy of the injury and that he believed Davey Boy in fact had a drug problem and that in the two months prior to their match he could not contact him to sort out what they were going to do at Wembley, and when they finally got to the stadium Smith revealed that he had not slept in over 48 hours. However, Hart also stated that as bad as Smith’s personal issues were, he “sucked it up” and hit every spot in the match”

The first part is nothing but capital-W Wrestling.  It’s Bret and Davey Boy showing off how fantastically better they are then everyone.  Lots of quick headlock takedowns, arm bar escape, jockeying back and forth for position while going for quick pin falls.  It’s super.

Bret is on offense for most of this match and the crowd pretty quickly turns on him.  It’s an interesting storytelling choice to set up Davey Boy as the underdog and it works great. Bret is using really aggressive tactics to sell himself as the temporary heel for the match.  They keep cutting to reaction shots of Diana Hart – Bret’s sister and Davey Boy’s wife

“God Bret, you’re such an asshole”

After an incredibly one-sided beating that lasts 20 minutes, Davey Boy finally shows some signs of life and goes on offense.  He hits Bret with some big, big power moves and Bret keeps kicking out of the pin.  They hit the sweet double clothesline and while they’re laying unconscious on the mat, Bret Hart manages to apply the Sharpshooter.  He’s the best.

The match ends when Bret Hart misses a sunset flip and Davey Boy falls on him for the pin.  Davey Boy gets the belt

Overall: Just a fantastic match and a great SummerSlam.  What do you think Diana?

Yaaay wrestling!  Bret is still a dick though

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